254.
Charlie's Angels
3/10
Charlie's Angels are something I have never gotten into, not that I have given them a chance. This goes for the original tv series, the movie that came about afterward and I'm quite surprised I was ready to give this remake a go. It's a little off-putting when they remake things within what seems like a short time but there is again no excitement about it what so ever. This time Elizabeth Banks shall be writing, directing and starring in the movie which brings us Naomi Scott, Kristen Stewart, and a somewhat unknown Ella Balinski as the angels. Turns out, this is a continuation from the other two movies and which was announced by Banks herself after many thought differently. Let's get down to it then I suppose
The movie is centered around these three ladies, each with their talents but before this comes together, we go through a little recruiting. We have a quick mission, to begin with, Sabina played by Stewart and Jane played by Balinski. They finish the mission, in walks John Bosley the main man, played by Patrick Stewart.
Elsewhere, Naomi Scott's character Elena is in her normal job as a tech-head, ready to dish the dirt on her employer as she knows the device she has created is still dangerous and can cause seizures if operated. Her bosses fare from giving a shit and know there is a chance of some money and go ahead with the launch. Elena's only option is to use a card she has found to alert the agency of what is going on. This becomes a task though as an assassin is sent her way, only for the angels to step in and save her. Hence the step into recruiting. No as for John Bosley, the last mission was actually his last and Rebekah 'Bosley', played by Banks is due to be taking over but there is something about her, with some dodgy eye contact on John's farewell do. She's definitely slipped something into his drink and is making sure that he drinks it.
As for the three angels, that's right, Elena is now on board. They are sent by Rebekah to infiltrate the tech lab. Their mission is to steal the prototypes before they can be sold. There is only one left though and Elena needs to use it to escape. One of the superiors is seen as the thief, the exact one that Elena was passing on her concerned opinions to in the beginning. He is tracked to Europe and is ready for a deal when the girls step in. He is dealing with the guy from the beginning mission who is now somehow free to wander about and this starts kicking in some questions for the ladies. As the girls are out numbers, Rebekah disappears and leaves them in the lurch big style. The bad guys escape and the angels are left with more questions than answers. Sabina is the main angel who believes that Rebekah could be letting on more than she knows and to the audience, that could explain the spiked drink. They are back at the safehouse, just before it becomes a little less safe due to plenty of explosions, a massive reveal some home truths. John has appeared to save Elena from the agency but it turns out that he has actually been setting up his own network, ready for his being removed from the agency. The remaining girls have sought medical help as Rebekah clues them in and we are onto our final part of the mission.
John takes Elena to a party, hosted by Brock, her old boss. He reveals that he was the one behind Elena's assassination attempt but was not aware of John trying to weaponise the tech called Calisto. Soon after, with this new side of John, he gets Elena to program Calisto into a weapon that will kill her and a dorky colleague that has been following her around for the second half of the movie. One ace up the sleeve of the other angels is that the plan is known. Jonny Smith, the lad who was caught at the beginning has now defected to the 'good' side and gives up John's intentions.
With some final fights between everyone involved, Rebekah finally catches up with John as he thinks she has him outnumbered but every female at the party is planted by her and they are all angels. Sabina knocks his lights out, Jane gets into a relationship and Elena is finally recruited after some final tests. In the mid-credits, Elena gets an angel tattoo and congratulations from Charlie himself.
Not too sure where to start with this one. It wasn't awful but it wasn't too good either in my opinion. Let's sandwich the good stuff in between the unfortunate bad moments. The cast was ok at best. With a mixture of talents and characteristics, each one seemed to bring their styles to the table, just like their angel did. One major problem I felt and that was not being invested in anyone. Not sure if this is because I'm a gent watching the movie and you know, go feminism right now, but they were at no point relatable as human beings for me. I get that they were invested in their missions but it was very robotic, especially from female Stewart. I enjoyed Patrick Stewart's character a lot more than anyone else.
This leads us nicely onto the storyline. It is one we could have seen 100 times before, with the same outcome but I have to admit, for a long time during the movie I was still adamant that Banks' character was the hidden villain. Safe to say that when this was getting further and I almost worked it out, it was still a cool moment to find out who the real villain was and even the villains to have plotted against each other.
This movie was always going to be one for the ladies though. Women win, men lose and the only male characters were either incredibly stupid, evil or the only good guy being a gay guru or something. I may have already mentioned that I hadn't seen the movies with Cameron Diaz and Co and from some of the really old trailers, they looked like an absolute ball of cheese. This one was a little more serious, it did have someone one-liners but I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone told me I would never see this movie again in my lifetime.