291.
Jungle Cruise
7/10
Just as Pirates of the Caribbean began, Disney has decided to make a movie based around one of their rides in their theme parks. Jungle Cruise as a ride has been going for years and is a very simple concept. A bunch of park guests head onto a boat with a cocky skipper, go around a track hidden under a river whilst checking out some animal models and waterfalls. The Skipper is full of puns, as in every single word is a joke and as the night draws on, the jokes get a little more adult. I've only ever ridden the ride a couple of times but it's a good laugh and has to be taken with good humour as you may be addressed. To hear that the movie was being announced, it was safe to say I was a little puzzled. Once the cast began to come out, it got a little more interesting. Dwayne Johnson will be our Skipper as Emily Blunt and Jack Whitehall join us for the ride. Let's test the waters.
The storyline had to be unique and obviously, nothing the ride itself could offer as that is just a safari. We get a little history firstly as a few conquistadors who had set out for the tree in the 1500s only to be bested by the jungle and saved by a tribe who had sworn to protect the tree. They were saved by the tears of the moon but when the chief refused to reveal the location, they killed everyone but not before being cursed. They were subject to being immortal but not being able to be out of sight from the river. The movie begins with Blunt as Lily with her brother MacGregor, as they try to gain interest in funding for an expedition to find the Tears of the Moon. The petals of this tree can cure countless lives but they aren't the only ones on the search. They are denied, which the duo expected but there was an ulterior motive. Lily was in the museum to steal an arrowhead which along with the map should help with the location of the tree. Narrowly avoiding a fellow named Prince Joachim, who is after the same price, she escapes through a window and the journey begins. Onwards to the Amazon, the duo now needs a boat and navigator for the rivers. By this time we have already been introduced to Frank Wolff played by Dwayne Johnson. The next few minutes are all nostalgia from the ride as the puns and 'backside of water' are mentioned and I remember sitting forward to give a nod to my friends as I had already brought the subject of the ride to their attention. He has set up most of his 'scares' and 'highlights' within his Jungle Cruise whilst also being in debt with a local pier owner. He gets his engine repossessed before looking to steal it back and posing as the wealthy, respected pier owner to take the job that Lily has to offer.
After another narrow miss from the Prince and his submarine, our trio is now on their way. In Frank's cabin, Lily finds the same map that she is carrying, along with many others and sketches of the arrowhead. She accuses Frank of seeking the tree too but he is adamant that he gave up a long time ago. They are then set upon by a tribe but it isn't long before they reveal that Frank hired them and everyone is set free.
The tribe chief helps Lily translate the cravings on the arrowhead which reveals the location of the tree and the fact that it only blooms on a blood moon. Switching to the Prince, he has tracked down the Conquistadors and given them a sight of the river once again, bringing their statues back to life. They have now succumbed to the elements of the jungle as one is made mostly out of snakes, another out of bees and honey, another of mud and so on. They are hired to track down Frank and his crew, retrieve the arrowhead and Prince Joachim will set them free. They quickly set about their task and attack the tribe's village. Lily and MacGregor escape but not before witnessing Frank get stabbed by Don Aguirre, the leader of the pack and seemingly fall to his death from a very tall tree.
To the sibling's amazement, they find Frank washed up and very much alive, even though he still has a sword through his chest. Then we learn about his history. He was actually one of the Conquistadors. Don Aguirre's best friend to be exact and when helping his friend try to find the tears of the moon, learnt that they may not have been as close as they thought. As Don Agguire slaughtered the village, Frank stepped in to try and stop. He also got caught up in the curse, hence why he now gives river tours. He has never seen the world away from the river and has pictures of buildings and cars that have come with time in a world he's never experienced. Lily is a little more appreciative of the actions of Frank now and the pair agree to go on together with MacGregor a little worse for wear.
As Lily risks her life to open the secret entrance, the pair find that Prince Joachim had already captured MacGregor and been led to the same place as our trios now become prisoners, we are led inside and to everyone's astonishment, there the tree sits, nice and dead. It does though come alive once Frank and Lily once again work together to solve a riddle. The moon hits the branches and petals form, each one a cure for seemingly everything.
One last hoax from our trio though as Lily agrees to shoot Frank for a petal, knowing he can't die and as he enters the water, he comes back to his boat to fight the conquistador's now in attendance. There is only one way out of this fight as Lily runs the branches for a petal she is followed by the Prince and Frank is overrun by his old companions. He is going to run his boat directly into the cave's wall to stop the flow of the river. This will stop the ghostly cursed gang but will also mean that he is sacrificing himself so that the siblings can get away. As per normality, absolutely any plan made by Dwayne Johnson's characters works. The Prince is killed comically before the siblings and Frank's cat find him attached to the wall and made of stone. With the one petal that Lily has, he puts it into Franks coincidental open mouth and nothing happens. Until they walk down some steps, the inevitable happens and Frank breaks free from his statue-like state. There was no doubt to me that this was going to happen, that Lily and Frank would embrace with a kiss and the movie ending now that Frank is free from the river's curse, with the two heading to London. MacGregor is back in the museum to let everyone know they will have no part of his discovery, whilst Lily is teaching Frank to dive a car in our last effort for a giggle.
It was very interesting that Disney chose the Jungle Cruise ride to base a movie around, considering the ride doesn't have a story. With success from their Pirate movies, I guess they can aim to make anything work. The Pirates ride now has Johnny Depp's character scattered around the place so I wonder if this will happen with Jungle Cruise. Heading back to the movie though, it was 100% enjoyable. Nothing more than a popcorn movie and nothing to set the world alight. It brought fun, laughter and a little freshness to a world where Disney keep spoiling childhoods with live-action remakes. Quite an interesting concept for a storyline, which tied together with a couple of villains and twists to keep the waters a little less calm. Maybe the ending was a little too predictable, which is never really new for Disney, the mid-story twist regarding Frank's character did keep the audience on their toes. A good storyline for those younger Disney fans as it didn't stay too 'cute', the jokes hit at different age groups and the movie also contained some decent action scenes.
Dwayne Johnson played Dwayne Johnson very well. That isn't a typo. We've honestly come to expect ok to great roles from him and this was middle of the road. Looking like he'd just finished another level of Jumanji, the one stand out feature of him in this one was how well he could carry the one-liners that the ride for me is famous for. Brought together with some comradery of Emily Blunt and Jack Whitehall's character the three complemented each other immensely onscreen. Blunt played the strong and independent female, held up by society. Whitehall the gay character, is thrown out by society for being who he is with only his sister understanding. Maybe they were a little too on the nose to keep up with today's PC world on ticking boxes in movies now but as already mentioned, every single character worked to help the storyline.
As a mixture of something that felt like a Jumanji movie possibly crossed with the colouring of Pirates of the Caribbean. Jungle Cruise will be a good movie to enjoy for audiences of most ages. Hopefully, Disney doesn't take the success of this movie for a reason to milk it for more than it is. The story came to a nice ending and all answers were tied up in a couple of hours of viewing. We do though know what Disney are like and any sniff of the dollar bills and suddenly we have a franchise on our hands that no one asked for. Please don't rock the boat.
