I will avenge you, Father! I will save you, Mother! I will kill you, Fjolnir! (The Northman 2022)

305.

The Northman

7/10

I have been in a massive stint of Viking-themed tv series and games recently as I watched the whole 5 series and movie of The Last Kingdom as well as playing Assassin's Creed: Valhalla months before. It was playing Valhalla that got me hyped for this movie and I honestly didn't know what to expect, didn't see any trailers and ended up watching this movie twice with two different groups of people. Directed by Robert Eggers, known for some darker, edgy movies such as The Lighthouse and The Witch, the guy has a pretty limited number of directed movies and none of them that I've gotten around to seeing before this one. One thing I will mention though is that we have a pretty decent cast with Alexander Skarsgard as our lead, working alongside Ethan Hawke, Nicole Kidman, Willem Dafoe and Anna Taylor-Joy, who is a pretty hot property at the moment. We also have Claes Bang and Gustav Lindh, both of whom I had not seen before. Let's get down to this movie, which is heavily based on Norse Mythology.

The movie begins exactly as I remember the game Assassin's Creed: Valhalla did. A young boy, being shown the ropes by his father before their village is attacked, his father killed and mother carried away by his uncle who is seen as the main 'villain' shall we say. The mother, Gudrun is played by Kidman whilst the main villain is played by Bang. The little boy is run to the sea and puts up a fight before escaping and is reported dead, to stop embarrassment for the Viking who lost him. Skarsgard now plays our main protagonist as we are sent years into the future as the young boy Amleth is now a full grown man, a berserker, pillaging villages before he meets a seeress, who reminds him of his oath to avenge his father.

 He instantly springs into action after finding out that his uncle is now a sheep farmer in Iceland after losing his throne. He poses as a slave and heads on a slave boat to Iceland, meeting a fellow slave on the way named Olga, played by Taylor-Joy. She claims to be a sorceress and will help him with what he needs if he can get her freedom.

Our story becomes a steal operation as Amleth must now find a weapon, and come up with a plan, all whilst watching his mother who is now married to Fjolnir and has also borne him a son named Gunnar. I don't use the term lightly when I say his other son Thorir, is a right prick. Amleth is pointed in the direction of a sword which can only be wielded at the gates of hell, a sword which is guarded by the undead. We get to see him tackle the undead and whilst Olga is poisoning the camp with hallucinogens, Amleth starts picking apart some of the prominent figures around the camp, with Fjolnir and his priests claiming it to be the Gods.

 As the village is in panic due to the hallucinations, Amleth heads to his mother to reveal himself. It doesn't turn out as he would like though and finds out the coup was her idea. She was a prisoner of her father's and Amleth was conceived due to rape. She even tries to seduce him before he loses his shit and heads off to kill Thorir in his sleep. After stealing the lad's heart, Olga is taken and Amleth tries to make a trade but he cannot draw his sword and is captured before being beaten to within an inch of his life. He is only saved by ravens sent by Odin, who release him from his restraints because they are apparently master lockpicks and Olga comes to pick up the pieces. The two head to the shore and manage to board a ship but whilst upon it, Amleth finds out that Olga is pregnant with twins, one of whom is predicted to be Maiden-king. He knows that his family will never be safe if his uncle is still alive. He literally jumps ship and swims back to end this once and for all. 

Amleth makes it back to the farm, freeing the remaining slaves, and taking out some more of Fjolnir's men whilst searching for his Uncle, he comes across his mother and half-brother. Killing them both in self-defence, there is now nothing left for Fjolnir, he offers Amleth a duel at the gates of Hel. This would be the crater of the volcano nearby, a real volcano in south Iceland named, Hekla. The two fight a Holmgang, a duel to settle a dispute. As the fight comes to an end, Fjolnir is beheaded just as Amleth is fatally stabbed simultaneously. 

As he lies dying, he has a vision of Olga, holding his two children and letting him know that they are all safe. He is told to let go, just before a Valkyrie carries him to the gates of Valhalla and the movie ends.

I won't beat around the bush. This movie will not be for everyone. With myself being caught up in Norse mythology and Vikings from other sources, I was into this movie tenfold and enjoyed it. It wasn't exactly as I thought it would be, some aspects were a little weird and full on but I have no doubt these were put into the movie for a reason. That reason is that history tells us certain rituals and events that happened within the Viking way. Some people I watched this with expected it to be like the show Vikings, while others completely disliked the movie. 

For me, the story made total sense as a revenge tale with a conclusion that 100% worked. This guy spent his life to avenge his father and follow a prophecy passed down to him as a child and giving his life to protect his own children was a circle completed from the beginning when his father attempted to do the same. The storyline of betrayal, vengeance and brutal sacrifice comes to a conclusion with Norse symbolism in a way that people who have no idea of what the Norse mythology consisted of, would be completely lost. The twist at the end as his mother explains her own betrayal was one that I had no idea was coming.

The movie was a long one, but with the mixture of surreal imagery and supernatural aspects, it moved very slowly and even going a second time, knowing what to expect, I was still captivated by the scenery in some shots. The movie at little moments may have moved a little slow and not much may have happened but the rest can even that out for a viewer.

I was surprised to find out that Skarsgard was who I was watching on the screen. The last thing I seen him in was Godzilla vs Kong and I'll be honest, the size on this guy, I thought there was someone else with the same name. It was a movie that didn't consist of much dialogue and conversation at times but the figure on the screen helped teleport you to a time of Vikings and I can't fault it. The one casting I didn't warm to was Kidman. I felt she was a little out of place for some reason and I can't quite put my finger on it. Taylor-Joy played a steely eyed, determined female which helped carry out main character to his outcome whilst Claes Bang finishing off the main characters giving a stellar performance and depth for a character that could have very much be seen as one dimensional.

Straight after the movie, I knew I needed more Vikings in my life and have since travelled north to set the castle in which the Last Kingdom was set along with some props and costumes from the show. Next up will be Vikings the TV show at some point and I'm all for it. I do love a bit of history when it is far back enough.

 

I'm coming for you Michael (Halloween Kills 2021)

304.

Halloween Kills

4/10

Always a sucker for horror, I find myself a little less inclined with slashers but I'll watch them nonetheless. Halloween is a franchise which has been around since its first instalment in 1978 and this movie becomes the 12th in the list. A direct sequel to the 2018 movie in which we see Michael Myers being burnt to death in a basement, we know it isn't that simple with this madman. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Laurie with Judy Greer as he daughter and Andi Matichak as her Granddaughter this movie's timeline is instantly continued after the 2018 movie, the three are taken to the hospital to heal their wounds from their fight with Michael. Listening to the iconic music by John and Cody Carpenter and also Daniel Davies, we know that we are ready. 

As some of the town celebrate the fact that Michael has not been imprisoned for 40 years, or so they believe, firefighters head to Laurie's old house which is ablaze and are soon set upon by Michael Myers who uses their equipment against them and kills them in some inventive and bloody ways. 

It's a strong start for the kill count as Michael then makes his way into town. He moves on to the neighbours before the celebrating party learns that he has escaped. They form a mob of Haddensfield residents, set on killing Michael once and for all. Karen, Laurie's daughter learns that Michael is still alive but chooses to keep the information from her mother as she rests from surgery and Allyson, the Granddaughter, decides to join the mob for revenge against her father's death years before. 

The town is taken out one by one and the rest of the mob look at the kill locations and direction, figuring that Michael is heading back to his childhood home. By this point, Laurie has finally found out that Michael is still alive and makes preparations to leave the hospital to carry on her fight.

Hardly anyone is spared in Michaels rath. As some of the side characters are picked off in quick succession, he is confronted in the street by the mob that is left. Inside the house, he goes to kill Allyson but is stabbed with a pitchfork by Karen, who steals his mask and leads him out to the street and into the mob.

 They swarm him and seemingly kill him before thinking of leaving the scene. As usual, he wakes, slaughters the lot of them and ends up killing Karen whilst Laurie never makes it out of the hospital and remains staring out of her window.

As with the franchise, Michael Myers is just seen as an immovable object. When it comes to some inventive kills, small massacres and little twists, the movie is in abundance but when it comes to some actual substance to the storyline, the movie falls a little short. I'm personally always game for a horror but more centered around a creature feature or something paranormal. When it's a killer walking a mile an horror surrounded by screaming teens, I'm not too fussed as the movie doesn't give you the sense of uneasiness and nor does it usually contain jump scares. 

We've come to know the main cast now as this is a direct sequel from the last instalment with the timeline instantly following on from past events. There really isn't much more to say on our trio of ladies than we already know. I just didn't understand the writing for the characters. Two thirds of the trio spent most of their time in a hospital whilst the main story was going on on the streets. Side characters from the past and town were made out to be chumps, making awful decisions in the face of danger. The cops were non existent, letting the town folk take matters into their own hands and finally the attempt of humour from some characters just fell flat. 

We know there is one more to the franchinse and the only reason I will revisit this movie is to simply refresh the mind. I can live without seeing it again and not miss much to be fair as it has the ability to not make me want to watch the next but knowing the finale is coming, we might as well just give it a couple of hours and say 'no more'. 

Dreams are messages from the deep (Dune 2021)

303.

Dune

7.5/10

Dune is a movie which has had a build-up for quite a while. Although the movie was originally made in 1984 and considered a flop, this remake by Denis Villeneuve had gained traction from the moment the first trailer hit the big screen. In the years between the two, special effects and visuals of movies has moved on ten fold and everyone was instantly stood to attention with what could be achieved with this one. The story is already available for the director as this is a novel. Not a novel that I have read and I also haven't seen the 1984 movie so this story will be brand new to me and I had no idea what I was heading in to. The movie sits at 2 hours and 35 minutes which is becoming so what of a norm with movie coming out in the past year or two. The thing is, this is just Part one of the story. 

Focusing on the storyline first, its easy to see what this run time is only part one of the novel. It doesn't feel rushed and it seems that each of the little things were thought about and wanted to be portrayed. After reading the reviews of the 80's movie, that movie felt rushed and lost the essence of the novel. At times, for me anyway, it felt a little too slow and drawn out for the run time. The movie became climatic only for it to end abruptly and left the audience waiting for more as the characters walk away from the screen. The only way I can explain it is by comparing it to the ending of The Fellowship of the Ring, as we needed the second part almost instantly as the first part felt like it was leading to something huge. At the same time, there is a good point to be made which is the intrigue that the story has began. Making an audience which the second part was coming sooner to find out where we go from here is also only a good thing. I was more intrigued by the dark side of the story and following the villains narrative at times more than our 'hero's' mainly because the character of Baron Valadimir Harkonnen was so dark and creepy that there was almost an aspect of a horror genre. Will our main character be able to fight his war against the forces of evil to protect his family and also fight against his visions of a dark future? Only time will tell.

A lot was made of the cast of this movie and how stacked it actually was. More last longer than others due to their roles in the story and some with much larger roles in the second part I can imagine. Timothee Chalamet is a name gaining traction in Hollywood and he leads the way in this one. Firstly seeming as a young feeble boy, he is quickly trained to fight by a mixture of Josh Brolin and Jason Mamoa in order to last in his future mission. A parent partnership of Rebecca Ferguson and Oscar Isaac keep the cast names flowing before we start seeing Zendaya in Chalamet's visions before meeting her towards the end along with Javier Bardem's character. All doing a stellar job and leaving some questions to be answered with their stories rather than wishing they would be written out of the story. My stand out performance comes back to the Baron again. Played by Stellan Skarsgard, who has been in many a successful project, the Baron was a sinister 600-pound man from the depths of hell. He didn't have to do much to still command the scenes he was featured in.

We can't finish a review of Dune without talking about the cinematography of this movie. The special effects and overall look of this movie made the planets, vehicles and every technical piece look as real as possible. Watching this movie in the context of a cinema setting, big screen and plenty of speakers to blare that movie's score into the audience. The score was so loud, in a good way, that the cinema screen's seats were shaking from the sound's bass. 

I'm left waiting for the second instalment but one thing I've noticed since watching this movie the first time a while back is that I haven't looked to go back and watch this movie again. I will need to and will eventually want to watch it again before the second instalment hits the screen but I don't know how I feel about the fact that I've not been drawn back since. 

Something wicked this was comes (Venom: Let There Be Carnage 2021)

302.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

5/10

Tom Hardy brings back Venom onto the main screen and this time are promised carnage. With the hope that this is a good thing, Woody Harrelson has joined the cast to play a serial killer named Cletus Kasady, later becoming Carnage. If you've seen the first Venom movie, you know what you're letting yourself in for. Another Sony movie which is struggling to keep up with the MCU in using its Marvel characters well. I would have really been excited for this movie if I knew that Sony wasn't constantly missing the mark but let's digest what kind of carnage we got ourselves in to.

At a run time of 97 minutes, I already think this movie could well be rushed and kept to a minimum in order to lack the opportunities for mistakes. The movie begins by setting up Cletus' backstory which shows him in a home for unwanted children where his girlfriend gets taken away to a maximum security facility due to her special powers. She has super sonic screams and although she puts up a fight and injures a cop, she is still taken to her final cell, with a bullet wound in her eye.

The cop is now a detective and played by Stephen Graham and needs Eddie Brock to interview Cletus as he will not speak to anyone else. Just as this gives his career a boost, his ex calls him to announce she is engaged, much to the displeasure of Venom. Cletus is be to executed for his crimes and one last interview ends in a confrontation between himself and Brook. 

Cletus bites Eddie Brook and a little bit of symbiote makes its way into Cletus' bloodstream. Eddie makes it home and him and Venom have an argument about how Venom feeds, ending with both deciding to go their separate ways. The scene cuts to Cletus ready for his lethal injection but it doesn't go to plan as a red symbiote named Carnage puts a stop to things. As he escapes whilst killing cops and freeing criminals from their cells, Carnage now shows himself in full force. The scene is created to make this symbiote look as violent and large as possible, considerable more than we have seen Venom in the previous movie and scenes from this one. Cletus sets out to find his girlfriend from those years ago and its quite an easy job to find her and free her. Now played by Naomie Harris, Barrison is recruited to help kill Brook and Venom. 

Brook needs to find Venom in order to fight back and finds him in the shop owner Mrs Chen. They forgive each other and prepare for the final battle.

Carnage is holed up in a cathedral, with Mulligan the detective as a hostage, Barrison now has Mrs Chen. Mulligan is seemingly killed by being hung from a chain, Carnage is winning with ease until Barrison is tricked into using her power which separates Carnage from Cletus and kills him whilst Venom devours Carnage. The cathedral collapses on Barrison killing her and Mulligan is somehow still alive with a blue glint in his eyes, hinting that he has somehow digested a little bit of symbiote. 

Brook and Venom are now fugitives and somehow make it to a nice beach resort on holiday to discuss their next move. Up next is the mid-credit screen. They are discussing the symbiote's universe when a large flash transports them to another hotel room. One TV we see J. Jonah Jameson talking about Spier-Man's real identity. Venom ends the scene licking the screen hinting that he wants to eat Peter Parker. Clearly this has been caused by the multi-verse cross over in Spider-Man: Far From Home. 

Another swing and a miss from Sony for me. God loves a tryer but honestly I think they just need to give up any rights they have, back to Disney and say they had a go. The story to this movie felt rushed, patchy and actually boring. Our hero and villain hardly interact and when they do, it's far from edgy and tense, our hero has nothing to solve but find out where the final show down is taking place and have a bit of rough and tumble for 10 minutes. Instead, Sony took us on a journey of a weird feeling gay couple bickering constantly until they split, only to resolve their differences to save the day. 

Hardy, Harrelson, Michelle Williams and Naomie Harris have all had success on their CVs but my word, they'll not want to add this when going for interviews. You can't blame them, you have to look at the writing as we have already mention what the chemistry of Eddie Brock and Vemon was like. Cletus was such a strangely written character as he had no new feeling other than a normal psychopath that could have been copy and pasted from any other movie. Cletus's girlfriend eventually added nothing to the storyline, even with her mutant powers and finally having Brock's ex-girlfriend still floating about with the hope she becomes She-Venom for 30 seconds is just a waste of a role and payslip. Yes we had some laughs with a bit of darker humour compared to normal Marvel movies. Yes some of the action was ok at times and this was a movie for escapsim but is that really enough?

This could have been the exact same movie on much less of a budget as even the CGI didn't spark a smile. The whole movie is made worth while to sit through just for the end credits where there is a link with Tom Holland's Peter Parker but this gets extinguished in a few MCU movies time. Thankfully. It hurts that I paid for this movie for my steelbook collection but life's a bitch.