I will avenge you, Father! I will save you, Mother! I will kill you, Fjolnir! (The Northman 2022)

305.

The Northman

7/10

I have been in a massive stint of Viking-themed tv series and games recently as I watched the whole 5 series and movie of The Last Kingdom as well as playing Assassin's Creed: Valhalla months before. It was playing Valhalla that got me hyped for this movie and I honestly didn't know what to expect, didn't see any trailers and ended up watching this movie twice with two different groups of people. Directed by Robert Eggers, known for some darker, edgy movies such as The Lighthouse and The Witch, the guy has a pretty limited number of directed movies and none of them that I've gotten around to seeing before this one. One thing I will mention though is that we have a pretty decent cast with Alexander Skarsgard as our lead, working alongside Ethan Hawke, Nicole Kidman, Willem Dafoe and Anna Taylor-Joy, who is a pretty hot property at the moment. We also have Claes Bang and Gustav Lindh, both of whom I had not seen before. Let's get down to this movie, which is heavily based on Norse Mythology.

The movie begins exactly as I remember the game Assassin's Creed: Valhalla did. A young boy, being shown the ropes by his father before their village is attacked, his father killed and mother carried away by his uncle who is seen as the main 'villain' shall we say. The mother, Gudrun is played by Kidman whilst the main villain is played by Bang. The little boy is run to the sea and puts up a fight before escaping and is reported dead, to stop embarrassment for the Viking who lost him. Skarsgard now plays our main protagonist as we are sent years into the future as the young boy Amleth is now a full grown man, a berserker, pillaging villages before he meets a seeress, who reminds him of his oath to avenge his father.

 He instantly springs into action after finding out that his uncle is now a sheep farmer in Iceland after losing his throne. He poses as a slave and heads on a slave boat to Iceland, meeting a fellow slave on the way named Olga, played by Taylor-Joy. She claims to be a sorceress and will help him with what he needs if he can get her freedom.

Our story becomes a steal operation as Amleth must now find a weapon, and come up with a plan, all whilst watching his mother who is now married to Fjolnir and has also borne him a son named Gunnar. I don't use the term lightly when I say his other son Thorir, is a right prick. Amleth is pointed in the direction of a sword which can only be wielded at the gates of hell, a sword which is guarded by the undead. We get to see him tackle the undead and whilst Olga is poisoning the camp with hallucinogens, Amleth starts picking apart some of the prominent figures around the camp, with Fjolnir and his priests claiming it to be the Gods.

 As the village is in panic due to the hallucinations, Amleth heads to his mother to reveal himself. It doesn't turn out as he would like though and finds out the coup was her idea. She was a prisoner of her father's and Amleth was conceived due to rape. She even tries to seduce him before he loses his shit and heads off to kill Thorir in his sleep. After stealing the lad's heart, Olga is taken and Amleth tries to make a trade but he cannot draw his sword and is captured before being beaten to within an inch of his life. He is only saved by ravens sent by Odin, who release him from his restraints because they are apparently master lockpicks and Olga comes to pick up the pieces. The two head to the shore and manage to board a ship but whilst upon it, Amleth finds out that Olga is pregnant with twins, one of whom is predicted to be Maiden-king. He knows that his family will never be safe if his uncle is still alive. He literally jumps ship and swims back to end this once and for all. 

Amleth makes it back to the farm, freeing the remaining slaves, and taking out some more of Fjolnir's men whilst searching for his Uncle, he comes across his mother and half-brother. Killing them both in self-defence, there is now nothing left for Fjolnir, he offers Amleth a duel at the gates of Hel. This would be the crater of the volcano nearby, a real volcano in south Iceland named, Hekla. The two fight a Holmgang, a duel to settle a dispute. As the fight comes to an end, Fjolnir is beheaded just as Amleth is fatally stabbed simultaneously. 

As he lies dying, he has a vision of Olga, holding his two children and letting him know that they are all safe. He is told to let go, just before a Valkyrie carries him to the gates of Valhalla and the movie ends.

I won't beat around the bush. This movie will not be for everyone. With myself being caught up in Norse mythology and Vikings from other sources, I was into this movie tenfold and enjoyed it. It wasn't exactly as I thought it would be, some aspects were a little weird and full on but I have no doubt these were put into the movie for a reason. That reason is that history tells us certain rituals and events that happened within the Viking way. Some people I watched this with expected it to be like the show Vikings, while others completely disliked the movie. 

For me, the story made total sense as a revenge tale with a conclusion that 100% worked. This guy spent his life to avenge his father and follow a prophecy passed down to him as a child and giving his life to protect his own children was a circle completed from the beginning when his father attempted to do the same. The storyline of betrayal, vengeance and brutal sacrifice comes to a conclusion with Norse symbolism in a way that people who have no idea of what the Norse mythology consisted of, would be completely lost. The twist at the end as his mother explains her own betrayal was one that I had no idea was coming.

The movie was a long one, but with the mixture of surreal imagery and supernatural aspects, it moved very slowly and even going a second time, knowing what to expect, I was still captivated by the scenery in some shots. The movie at little moments may have moved a little slow and not much may have happened but the rest can even that out for a viewer.

I was surprised to find out that Skarsgard was who I was watching on the screen. The last thing I seen him in was Godzilla vs Kong and I'll be honest, the size on this guy, I thought there was someone else with the same name. It was a movie that didn't consist of much dialogue and conversation at times but the figure on the screen helped teleport you to a time of Vikings and I can't fault it. The one casting I didn't warm to was Kidman. I felt she was a little out of place for some reason and I can't quite put my finger on it. Taylor-Joy played a steely eyed, determined female which helped carry out main character to his outcome whilst Claes Bang finishing off the main characters giving a stellar performance and depth for a character that could have very much be seen as one dimensional.

Straight after the movie, I knew I needed more Vikings in my life and have since travelled north to set the castle in which the Last Kingdom was set along with some props and costumes from the show. Next up will be Vikings the TV show at some point and I'm all for it. I do love a bit of history when it is far back enough.

 

I'm coming for you Michael (Halloween Kills 2021)

304.

Halloween Kills

4/10

Always a sucker for horror, I find myself a little less inclined with slashers but I'll watch them nonetheless. Halloween is a franchise which has been around since its first instalment in 1978 and this movie becomes the 12th in the list. A direct sequel to the 2018 movie in which we see Michael Myers being burnt to death in a basement, we know it isn't that simple with this madman. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role as Laurie with Judy Greer as he daughter and Andi Matichak as her Granddaughter this movie's timeline is instantly continued after the 2018 movie, the three are taken to the hospital to heal their wounds from their fight with Michael. Listening to the iconic music by John and Cody Carpenter and also Daniel Davies, we know that we are ready. 

As some of the town celebrate the fact that Michael has not been imprisoned for 40 years, or so they believe, firefighters head to Laurie's old house which is ablaze and are soon set upon by Michael Myers who uses their equipment against them and kills them in some inventive and bloody ways. 

It's a strong start for the kill count as Michael then makes his way into town. He moves on to the neighbours before the celebrating party learns that he has escaped. They form a mob of Haddensfield residents, set on killing Michael once and for all. Karen, Laurie's daughter learns that Michael is still alive but chooses to keep the information from her mother as she rests from surgery and Allyson, the Granddaughter, decides to join the mob for revenge against her father's death years before. 

The town is taken out one by one and the rest of the mob look at the kill locations and direction, figuring that Michael is heading back to his childhood home. By this point, Laurie has finally found out that Michael is still alive and makes preparations to leave the hospital to carry on her fight.

Hardly anyone is spared in Michaels rath. As some of the side characters are picked off in quick succession, he is confronted in the street by the mob that is left. Inside the house, he goes to kill Allyson but is stabbed with a pitchfork by Karen, who steals his mask and leads him out to the street and into the mob.

 They swarm him and seemingly kill him before thinking of leaving the scene. As usual, he wakes, slaughters the lot of them and ends up killing Karen whilst Laurie never makes it out of the hospital and remains staring out of her window.

As with the franchise, Michael Myers is just seen as an immovable object. When it comes to some inventive kills, small massacres and little twists, the movie is in abundance but when it comes to some actual substance to the storyline, the movie falls a little short. I'm personally always game for a horror but more centered around a creature feature or something paranormal. When it's a killer walking a mile an horror surrounded by screaming teens, I'm not too fussed as the movie doesn't give you the sense of uneasiness and nor does it usually contain jump scares. 

We've come to know the main cast now as this is a direct sequel from the last instalment with the timeline instantly following on from past events. There really isn't much more to say on our trio of ladies than we already know. I just didn't understand the writing for the characters. Two thirds of the trio spent most of their time in a hospital whilst the main story was going on on the streets. Side characters from the past and town were made out to be chumps, making awful decisions in the face of danger. The cops were non existent, letting the town folk take matters into their own hands and finally the attempt of humour from some characters just fell flat. 

We know there is one more to the franchinse and the only reason I will revisit this movie is to simply refresh the mind. I can live without seeing it again and not miss much to be fair as it has the ability to not make me want to watch the next but knowing the finale is coming, we might as well just give it a couple of hours and say 'no more'.