I'M A SUPERHERO! I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SUPERHERO! (The Suicide Squad 2021)

 293.

The Suicide Squad

7/10

The first Suicide Squad movie hit our screens in 2016 and just like every other DCEU movie, there were people out there that hated it. Between some of the casting to the actual story and it was ultimately seen as a flop. This stand-alone sequel hasn't exactly been plain sailing either. Between David Ayer dropping out of writing and directing and bringing in James Gunn, fresh from Disney sacking him because of past tweets, it was safe to say the expectations were raised a little with the involvement of Gunn. A few of the cast were brought through from the first movie with Viola Davis playing Amanda Waller once again, Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flagg and Margot Robbie reprising her role as Harley Quinn. Quinn was the standout from the first movie, even getting her spin-off movie, which in my opinion wasn't great. The first Suicide Squad was OK for me, nothing to write home about but I'm now one of those with a heightened expectation with James Gunn on board. With the addition of Idris Elba, John Cena, David Dasmalchian and Sly Stallone, the cast was getting packed. There were some surprise additions too as for some reason Pete Davidson joined the cast, more famous at the moment for sleeping around Z-list women and Michael Rooker who has already found success in the MCU movies working with James Gunn. Let's find out if Warner Bros. are finally going to get something right or are once again ready to shoot themselves in the foot. 

We are straight into the action as a team set up by Waller, known as the Suicide Squad approach a beach and are ready to fight. This gang is made up of Harley Quinn, Rick Flagg, Captain Boomerang, Rooker's character, Pete Davidson character and a couple more lesser-known villains but some random actors to say the least. It's utter chaos and everyone is killed apart from Flagg and Harley Quinn, who was given a javelin by a member of the team before they died. That's when the actual title rolls and the movie begins. Although we have lost some characters that we thought were in it for the long run, the timeline flips back a little to find that a second team was created, as a failsafe. This team includes Bloodsport, played by Idris Elba, Peacemaker who is played by Cena, King Shark voiced by Stallone and Ratcatcher 2 played by Daniela Melchoir. The final member is the polka-dot man played by Dastmalchian. The distraction from the other team getting massacred allows this team to move in undetected. They end up meeting with Flagg as a rebel basecamp and agree to help them overthrow the corrupt government whilst also completing their own mission.

In the meantime, Harley Quinn has been caught by the government and is led to meet the dictator, who has fallen in love with her. With a promise of taking over other nations with the help of 'Project Starfish', she takes offence as this may even be a little too much for her. She kills the leader and is once again imprisoned. The remaining team locate the thinking in the Islanders capital. Capturing him, they learn that 'Project Starfish' is literally as it sounds. A giant starfish named Starro was found in space and brought down by astronauts. Now that it has grown to a gigantic size, it will be used to destroy, if it can be controlled. Harley escapes in a very Harley way and we even get the weirdly edited scene which shows her in slow motion firing guns as flowers explode around her. This coincides with plenty of action-packed scenes by her too. She joins the rest of the gang and they head to the bunker which is storing the giant starfish. 

On battling their way inside and planting explosives to take it down, Flagg learns the truth. The US government has been funding these experiments and allowing the residents of the islands to be sacrificed in doing so. They are there to retrieve the evidence as a cover-up and he loses the plot. Unfortunately for him, the Peacemaker is there to make sure the plan goes ahead no matter what and this gives us a face-off between the two. Flagg is killed and this is witnessed by Ratcatcher 2. She's next on his hit list but is stopped as Bloodsport shoots him squarely in the head. 

As the explosives go off, Starro is assisted in his escape and now he's ready to rock. Releasing mini starfish that attach to the public's face, he is able to now control his own army. The team step up, ready to sacrifice themselves so that this giant does not escape. Remember the javelin? Well just as most of the viewers, we guessed it was going to hold a killer blow. Harley drives it through the starfish's eye and Ratcacter 2 orders her rats to eat this villain from the inside. 

The movie ends as Bloodsport holds the evidence needed to free the remaining members of the squad with some blackmail and Waller agrees. The team are airlifted to safety as the Island's government is overthrown by the people. There is a cheeky after-credits as we head to a hospital only to find that Peacemaker survived his wound. He is looked after by Waller's team and thinking about it, it was always going to be the way as the character has his own TV show coming to HBO. 

This movie was first earmarked as a remake with some of the same cast, which was quickly brushed away as a rumour. Then finding out that it was going to act as a sequel was a little more interesting. Ultimately, because it was the first time this squad was patched together, as shown in the story, it did actually feel like a remake. The last thing we want to do is obviously compare this to the first if it was indeed a sequel. Saying that, the story was a little more 'out there'. It felt adult, but at the same time felt a lot lighter than the first movie. The movie added a lot of characters, a small location but a big villain which was brought together with some fun storytelling and as normal for James Gunn, some decent tunes. A very easy to follow storyline for any age although, with profanities and gore, it is hardly going to be aimed at the real youngsters. Knowing that Peacemaker was having a spin-off was 100% a spoiler for the ending of the movie and the after-credits felt a little wasted because of this. The movie was carried with jokes, sarcasm and there is no better point to start discussing the cast.

 I would be wasting room on speaking about Margot Robbie in length as we know what she brings as Quinn. We've seen it before, it was a success once again, done. The leader in this movie and the character that brought more of a back story would be Bloodsport played by Elba. Just like Will Smith's character in the first, this one has a daughter to think about and gain forgiveness from, which the character arch gives us by the end. A pivotal role to play and being dark but sarcastic clearly suited Elba to a tee. His character in the MCU was highly underused for such a great actor and my call for the next bond, even if it has come 10 years too late. Secondly, we have to talk about Cena. An interesting choice to call up to the DCEU and someone who is starring in a lot more movies these days. Away from the screen, Cena is probably one of the nicest guys in the world for what he does for charity. This does not always bring success but it would be deserved. Following in the steps of Dwayne Johnson who was also a major WWE wrestler, the last movie I saw Cena in before this was the Fast and Furious franchise, but that hardly requires acting. As a villain to the villains, Peacemaker needed to go a step above and from delivering the one-liners, sarcasm and then finally the action scenes, Cena hit the make on each occasion. Honourable mentions for the rest of the team, no matter the type of character they brought, I can't remember disliking one and even the casting I queried, died before I gave a shit. 

After bringing success to the MCU, the pressure was on for Gunn in a highly faltering DCEU. The movie was seen as a flop financially but I think amongst most movie fans, it was enjoyable compared to some of the other instalments to the DCEU and ultimately compared to the first. I was well on board with the Gunn appointment and really hope that he does head back and fore between the MCU and DCEU to work because that would only improve the movies on the later side. Plenty of laughs out loud moments followed in the movie and weirdly characters like King Shark voiced by Stallone added extra comedic moments to fill in the gaps. It'll be even more interesting if this team is now carried on in any way as this is Robbie's third main feature as Quinn and the movie seemed to tie up most loose ends of the squad, with Peacemaker as the exception for obvious reasons. I'm more than happy to view some more as it does feel a little more adult but at the same time, we do need to start seeing some new characters from DC as standalone movies rather than revisiting the trial and tested every time. 

RUN! (A Quiet Place Part II 2021)

 292.

A Quiet Place Part II

7.5/10

John Krasinski has been at work again writing, producing and directing a sequel to his first success in the franchise, A Quiet Place. SPOILER ALERT, if you haven't seen the first one, Krasinski cast himself in there to play alongside his real-life wife, Emily Blunt. At the end of the first, his character sacrificed himself to save their kids and this movie will follow the remaining family member's journey through this post-apocalyptic world, which is ravaged by blind aliens, with a keen sense of hearing. It'll be interesting to see how the movie evolves now that the family have to leave their attacked home and look for shelter in a world they haven't seen in a long while. The movie's trailer already shows the addition of Cillian Murphy to our casting. As a guy who can play any role thrown in his direction, not too much is given away at this point as to the character's main intentions once he runs into the family. After the enjoyment that the first movie brought, I was looking forward to watching this one and seeing if it would be as successful. 

The movie begins with a flashback and a little more explanation of where the aliens came from. Krasinski is back as Lee Abbott as the family are watching their son Marcus play baseball down the local park. In the background, a couple of asteroid-like objects are hurling themselves to Earth. Not long after, total panic hits the small town as the aliens begin their attack. At this time, people have no idea what qualities and strengths they are up against and it isn't long before the slaughter is well and truly done for now. 

The story carries on straight where the first finished. A year after the first attack and our family are leaving the first home. On their travels, Reagan has created a weapon using a portable speaker and her cochlear implant. They hit a snag, setting off a trap, Marcus gets trapped in a bear trap and here comes an alien hearing the screams. It is killed by Reagan and Blunt's character Evelyn as the family make it into a foundry, bumping into an old friend Emmett. Emmett is played by Murphy and he leads them into his underground hideout. I think we are about to see if there are any intentions. He is happy to help for now but the family cannot stay. Emmett has completely shut down after losing his wife and kids and isn't sure what he's doing with himself but knows he doesn't want anyone else around. 

Marcus in the meantime has become infatuated with 'somewhere beyond the sea' which consistently plays on a radio station. He is adamant that it is a clue from other survivors on where to go. Reagan is the only one who can head out on the mission with her brother's leg injured and her mother looking after a newborn. She figures that she can weaponize the radio tower and help other people protect themselves. After heading out, Emmett soon follows and saves her. She asks him to help complete her mission but due to Emmett not knowing sign language, it is a struggle to start. Back at the foundry, Evelyn has left Marcus with the newborn and heads into town to get medical supplies but Marcus hits a snag as he discovers the corpse of Emmett's dead wife and screams, alerting a couple of aliens. He accidentally locks himself and the baby inside an air-tight furnace. We know have two stories side by side as Marcus and the baby are on a countdown to death and Reagan along with Emmett reach a  dock where they are set upon by feral humans. 

Emmett only has one plan as he makes as much noise as possible, attracting aliens to kill the attackers as he and Reagan quickly board a boat and row to the island. On the island, a group is living as normal as possible. BBQ's, laughter and noise in other forms aren't fearsome for these lot. The leader of the colony cannot do enough to help the newcomers and feed them before hearing their plan. In the morning we do hit a little hiccup as a creature has floated over on another boat, nice and conveniently so that the story doesn't end easily. The leader gets killed but the plan is complete and the radio tower becomes a weapon for everyone who recognises that the aliens react badly to the horrific static through the speakers. Back at the foundry, Evelyn has found Marcus and the baby before they suffocate. Marcus has already found the frequency on the radio, not only letting him and his mother know that Reagan is safe but that they can now use the sound to escape from the alien parading around the foundry. The movie ends quite openly. Reagan leaves her hearing aid at the microphone with the broadcast turned on, hoping that anyone who recognises it, can use it to escape to somewhere safe.

That's where the credits roll. It leaves many questions as to what happens next, how far does this signal carry and has anyone else around the world found a tactic to fight back? I think the story for our family ends here as the safety of the island is what they need to finally settle down. If we do a get third movie in the franchise, I doubt it would act as a straight sequel. Maybe a spin-off set somewhere else in the world at the same time or even later in the timeline with humans fighting back. I want to take a closer look at how these aliens came to Earth in such dramatic circumstances and there are plenty of directions we can head in. Hopefully, they don't change behind the camera too much, so that the success does continue. 

With the father figure of this movie lost in the prequel, it was time for the children to step up as best as possible. Both children evolved to help protect their mother and younger sibling and although Marcus was made to step into his father's shoes, after an early injuring, it was actually Reagan who stole the show. Much like her character Millicent Simmonds was very impressive once again in the movie. As an actress who is deaf in real life, she was asked to become an adult in this movie very quickly. After working with professionals to make sure that her sign language was clean and I can imagine she felt a sense of pressure to be the representation for something we rarely see on the big screen. I do not doubt that the community felt that Millicent was a massive success. Cillian Murphy is the other stand-out addition to the movie. From seeing the trailer I was very unaware of whether his role would be for good or have a more sinister motive. Because Murphy has such a range on his CV,  there's a slight intrigue on what he is going to bring to the big screen in terms of character style. Starting as a shut-off loner, looking to just do the bare minimum as he has lost everyone he loves, the character is quickly reminded there's still good in the world. He becomes our main male lead, unbeknownst to himself and whether he wanted it or not, he was integral to the success of Reagan's mission. As always, a great job done by Murphy with the character arch and quite possibly the standout part of the movie.

I'm always game for a horror movie and more so when it's a monster flick. The idea of this movie was interesting in the first movie and it was always going to be a task to replicate the success of the first movie. I enjoyed it just as much. To keep the same writer and director on board was always going to be a big feature as visions can sometimes be changed as the bosses move ideas about. Krasinski and Blunt have worked very well together here as a personal relationship has seemingly helped but as we possibly move away from the characters we have come to know, and Krasinski is also moving away from behind the camera to a more consultancy role on a rumoured third installation, I just hope things don't go a little too astray. It doesn't need to and the blueprint for enjoyment is already there to work with. 

Hey, McGregor! Had a girlfriend once, she was cross-eyed. Didn't work out. We could never see eye to eye! (Jungle Cruise 2021)

 291.

Jungle Cruise

7/10

Just as Pirates of the Caribbean began, Disney has decided to make a movie based around one of their rides in their theme parks. Jungle Cruise as a ride has been going for years and is a very simple concept. A bunch of park guests head onto a boat with a cocky skipper, go around a track hidden under a river whilst checking out some animal models and waterfalls. The Skipper is full of puns, as in every single word is a joke and as the night draws on, the jokes get a little more adult. I've only ever ridden the ride a couple of times but it's a good laugh and has to be taken with good humour as you may be addressed. To hear that the movie was being announced, it was safe to say I was a little puzzled. Once the cast began to come out, it got a little more interesting. Dwayne Johnson will be our Skipper as Emily Blunt and Jack Whitehall join us for the ride. Let's test the waters.

The storyline had to be unique and obviously, nothing the ride itself could offer as that is just a safari. We get a little history firstly as a few conquistadors who had set out for the tree in the 1500s only to be bested by the jungle and saved by a tribe who had sworn to protect the tree. They were saved by the tears of the moon but when the chief refused to reveal the location, they killed everyone but not before being cursed. They were subject to being immortal but not being able to be out of sight from the river. The movie begins with Blunt as Lily with her brother MacGregor, as they try to gain interest in funding for an expedition to find the Tears of the Moon. The petals of this tree can cure countless lives but they aren't the only ones on the search. They are denied, which the duo expected but there was an ulterior motive. Lily was in the museum to steal an arrowhead which along with the map should help with the location of the tree. Narrowly avoiding a fellow named Prince Joachim, who is after the same price, she escapes through a window and the journey begins. Onwards to the Amazon, the duo now needs a boat and navigator for the rivers. By this time we have already been introduced to Frank Wolff played by Dwayne Johnson. The next few minutes are all nostalgia from the ride as the puns and 'backside of water' are mentioned and I remember sitting forward to give a nod to my friends as I had already brought the subject of the ride to their attention. He has set up most of his 'scares' and 'highlights' within his Jungle Cruise whilst also being in debt with a local pier owner. He gets his engine repossessed before looking to steal it back and posing as the wealthy, respected pier owner to take the job that Lily has to offer.

 After another narrow miss from the Prince and his submarine, our trio is now on their way. In Frank's cabin, Lily finds the same map that she is carrying, along with many others and sketches of the arrowhead. She accuses Frank of seeking the tree too but he is adamant that he gave up a long time ago. They are then set upon by a tribe but it isn't long before they reveal that Frank hired them and everyone is set free. 

The tribe chief helps Lily translate the cravings on the arrowhead which reveals the location of the tree and the fact that it only blooms on a blood moon. Switching to the Prince, he has tracked down the Conquistadors and given them a sight of the river once again, bringing their statues back to life. They have now succumbed to the elements of the jungle as one is made mostly out of snakes, another out of bees and honey, another of mud and so on. They are hired to track down Frank and his crew, retrieve the arrowhead and Prince Joachim will set them free. They quickly set about their task and attack the tribe's village. Lily and MacGregor escape but not before witnessing Frank get stabbed by Don Aguirre, the leader of the pack and seemingly fall to his death from a very tall tree. 

To the sibling's amazement, they find Frank washed up and very much alive, even though he still has a sword through his chest. Then we learn about his history. He was actually one of the Conquistadors. Don Aguirre's best friend to be exact and when helping his friend try to find the tears of the moon, learnt that they may not have been as close as they thought. As Don Agguire slaughtered the village, Frank stepped in to try and stop. He also got caught up in the curse, hence why he now gives river tours. He has never seen the world away from the river and has pictures of buildings and cars that have come with time in a world he's never experienced. Lily is a little more appreciative of the actions of Frank now and the pair agree to go on together with MacGregor a little worse for wear. 

As Lily risks her life to open the secret entrance, the pair find that Prince Joachim had already captured MacGregor and been led to the same place as our trios now become prisoners, we are led inside and to everyone's astonishment, there the tree sits, nice and dead. It does though come alive once Frank and Lily once again work together to solve a riddle. The moon hits the branches and petals form, each one a cure for seemingly everything. 

One last hoax from our trio though as Lily agrees to shoot Frank for a petal, knowing he can't die and as he enters the water, he comes back to his boat to fight the conquistador's now in attendance. There is only one way out of this fight as Lily runs the branches for a petal she is followed by the Prince and Frank is overrun by his old companions. He is going to run his boat directly into the cave's wall to stop the flow of the river. This will stop the ghostly cursed gang but will also mean that he is sacrificing himself so that the siblings can get away. As per normality, absolutely any plan made by Dwayne Johnson's characters works. The Prince is killed comically before the siblings and Frank's cat find him attached to the wall and made of stone. With the one petal that Lily has, he puts it into Franks coincidental open mouth and nothing happens. Until they walk down some steps, the inevitable happens and Frank breaks free from his statue-like state. There was no doubt to me that this was going to happen, that Lily and Frank would embrace with a kiss and the movie ending now that Frank is free from the river's curse, with the two heading to London. MacGregor is back in the museum to let everyone know they will have no part of his discovery, whilst Lily is teaching Frank to dive a car in our last effort for a giggle.

It was very interesting that Disney chose the Jungle Cruise ride to base a movie around, considering the ride doesn't have a story. With success from their Pirate movies, I guess they can aim to make anything work. The Pirates ride now has Johnny Depp's character scattered around the place so I wonder if this will happen with Jungle Cruise. Heading back to the movie though, it was 100% enjoyable. Nothing more than a popcorn movie and nothing to set the world alight. It brought fun, laughter and a little freshness to a world where Disney keep spoiling childhoods with live-action remakes. Quite an interesting concept for a storyline, which tied together with a couple of villains and twists to keep the waters a little less calm. Maybe the ending was a little too predictable, which is never really new for Disney, the mid-story twist regarding Frank's character did keep the audience on their toes. A good storyline for those younger Disney fans as it didn't stay too 'cute', the jokes hit at different age groups and the movie also contained some decent action scenes. 

Dwayne Johnson played Dwayne Johnson very well. That isn't a typo. We've honestly come to expect ok to great roles from him and this was middle of the road. Looking like he'd just finished another level of Jumanji, the one stand out feature of him in this one was how well he could carry the one-liners that the ride for me is famous for. Brought together with some comradery of Emily Blunt and Jack Whitehall's character the three complemented each other immensely onscreen. Blunt played the strong and independent female, held up by society. Whitehall the gay character, is thrown out by society for being who he is with only his sister understanding. Maybe they were a little too on the nose to keep up with today's PC world on ticking boxes in movies now but as already mentioned, every single character worked to help the storyline.

As a mixture of something that felt like a Jumanji movie possibly crossed with the colouring of Pirates of the Caribbean. Jungle Cruise will be a good movie to enjoy for audiences of most ages. Hopefully, Disney doesn't take the success of this movie for a reason to milk it for more than it is. The story came to a nice ending and all answers were tied up in a couple of hours of viewing. We do though know what Disney are like and any sniff of the dollar bills and suddenly we have a franchise on our hands that no one asked for. Please don't rock the boat.

Before I was an Avenger, I made mistakes... and a lot of enemies (Black Widow 2021)

 290.

Black Widow

8.5/10

Covid has hit cinemas and movies hard with delays galore to the big hitters that were expected on the screen. A prime example of this would be Black Widow. Scarlett Johansson is reprising her role after her fate from Avengers: Endgame to give us an origin story and a movie based after Civil War and before Avengers: Infinity War. A bit of a star-studded cast come together for this one as Johanson is joined on screen by Rachel Weisz, Florence Pugh, David Harbour and Ray Winstone. The movie came out in the cinema as well as releasing on Disney+ at the same time, which is a little strange in my book. Although you did have to pay extra on the streaming service to watch the movie. Johansson raised a lawsuit regarding this as she believed it hindered people heading to the cinema and cut how much money she was going to receive as a bonus. This has since been settled for a decent wedge of money. Let's get into the movie and see what past Natasha Romanov has to deal with.

The movie begins in 1995 in Ohio where Alexei, played by Harbour and Black Widow Melana, played by Weisz, have set up a Russian undercover operation posing as parents of Natasha and Yelena. 

They steal S.H.I.E.L.D. intel and escape to Cuba to meet their boss Dreykov, played by Winstone. The two young girls are drugged and taken away to the Red Room for training whilst they witness their 'mother' being taken away as she was shot during their escape. The next few years are shown in a montage for the opening credits along with a great rendition of Nirvana's 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. 

The main segment of the movie starts with Natasha as we recognise her, staring into a mirror with a look of regret. It's 2016 and she is on the run and leaves a decoy trail for Thaddeus Ross to find as she is now in Norway. Alexei is in jail in the middle of nowhere and Yelena is now a Widow herself. We are sent to her scene as she has a sniper on a rooftop, keeping an eye on a defected widow before chasing her through the streets and stabbing her. Just as the blade enters, the older widow releases a red gas in Yelena's face which seems to wake her senses. She realises that she has her free will back and digs a tracker out of her leg after being instructed to release the other widows. She sends the remaining vials of gas to Natasha, hoping the Avengers can release the other women. Natasha is driving around Norway, unknowingly that within her mail are the vials. She is targeted by a henchman from the Red Room and a character that we knew was going to be in the movie, Taskmaster. Now my knowledge of Taskmaster is quite low and only comes from the Spiderman computer games. He is a character that focuses on his enemies and mimics their every move to beat them in combat. Well, this time Taskmaster blows Natasha's car up and incapacitates her whilst trying to get the vials. Natasha finally twigs that it's not her that Taskmaster wants, steals the vials herself and get booted off the bridge. She realises that the mail came from Budapest and there is an old picture of her and Yelena attached to them. Budapest will be the next stop.

In Budapest, Nastash arrives at her old safe house from her and Clint Barton's 'Budapest' mission that we hear so much of. The two sisters start a fight after not seeing each other for years. Before having to team up as the Red Room move in on them. Yelena sent the vials out so that they wouldn't be grabbed by the Soviets but they have found their way back to her displeasure. They manage to escape several widows and the Taskmaster again whilst Natasha also witnesses how the Widows are treated as one break their legs and is forced into suicide by Dreykov. As they hide, we also find out a little history of the 'Budapest' job. Natasha had planted bombs within Dreykov's building and used his daughter as collateral in the explosion, presuming she had killed them both. Yelena corrects her as she knows Dreykov is still alive. 

The sisters are supplied with a helicopter as they both agree on one last mission. That mission is to bring down the Red Room but they have no idea where it is. They fancy breaking Alexei out of jail to help them on their pursuit. Problem is, this washed-up super-soldier has no idea. Dreykov imprisoned him and now with a huge beard and a few extra pounds, he's ready for a bit of revenge.

 He leads them to Melina, who played the girl's mother and they are shocked to find out she is alive and still working for the Red Room. She is running a farm just in the wilderness of Russia and using mind control on pigs, which will be used on the Widows in good time. They try to convince her to reveal where the Red Room is, as the Widows are always drugged on the journey. Melina has already alerted the Red Room though and the lads are on the way. They are taken down and moved up to the Red Room which is floating in the clouds using huge turbine engines.

Within the Red Room, Alexei and Natasha are locked up whilst Yelena is strapped down for dissection and a little look into how the gas works to stop the control of her mind. In Dreykov's office, Melina is in combat gear and sits with Dreykov as Taskmaster looks on. All is not as it seems though as Dreykov recognises the eyes and knows it's Natasha. He takes off her disguise and asks Taskmaster not to interfere as questions are asked. We then get a flashback as Melina and Natasha come up with the plan and Melina, in the cells, frees herself and Alexei before heading onto her plan of bringing down the engines. Back in the office, Natasha tries to shoot Dreykov but can't pull the trigger. Taunting her about the history of her mother, he lets her try her knife but again cannot bring herself to end the attack. It's all down to the fact that there are pheromones in the air which, when inhaled, stop any attempt on Dreykov's life. He orders Taskmaster to take off their helmet and it's revealed that it is actually his daughter. Little twist there for the audience and Natasha. Now it's time for Dreykov to reveal his plan of world domination from the shadows and once he is done, Natasha gives a thank you and smashes her head into the table. Strange but clever. We get another flashback to a discussion with Melina who reveals about the pheromones and she is now breaking her own nose to stop the cycle through her body. She can then attack him, sneakily stealing his ring to have access to the desk that controls all of the widows and their missions, downloading all the information ready to send to S.H.I.E.L.D. and now it's time to escape. Unfortunately, Dreykov has alerted the remaining widows on board. Putting up a good fight as the station goes down under its own weight, Natasha is saved by a returning Yelena who had escaped her own problems. She throws the remaining vials above the fight and the widows finally become self-aware. 

Now the race is on to escape before the station hits the ground. Melina and Alexei have an aircraft but so does Dreykov and his men. Yelena isn't ready to let him escape and throws her weapon into the engine of his craft, willing to sacrifice herself in the explosion. Somehow she comes out unscathed but falls unconscious through the clouds. Natasha follows her with a parachute and attaches it to her back just in time as Taskmaster is flying in their direction. Tangling together, Natasha and Taskmaster hit the deck for one last battle and Natasha manages to wrestle the helmet off and find another vial casually laying about, finally releasing the girl from her father's orders. In the distance, we see Ross and many agents travelling to arrest Natasha and her family, with them ready to stand together. Natasha isn't ready for this and as the remaining Widows land a craft, the family embrace before seeing their final goodbyes, unknown to them. They also take Taskmaster, with no one left behind.

The movie ends with Natasha finally getting her hands on the Quinjet, now with a new haircut, the one we see in Infinity War, she is ready to break her friends out of prison. There is also a post-credit scene, which takes place later, after the events of Endgame. Yelena is at Natasha grave, giving their childhood whistle and remembering her sister. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine steps beside her and Yelena isn't impressed. We have already seen Valentina in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier as she recruits the 'Wish' version of Captain America. She gives Yelena a new assignment, one to kill the killer of her sister. The picture she gets handed is of Clint Barton and I can imagine this is gearing up for possible involvement in the new TV series on Disney+. I wonder if she will listen to the truth.

I really enjoyed this movie a lot more than I thought I would. I'm not sure if that is because I went in thinking that this movie wasn't needed and it was nothing more than a money-spinner but the fact that it didn't feel too much like an MCU movie helped. From the first credits, there seemed to be a darker undertone to the movie and it felt more like an espionage movie than a superhero one, which again was a pleasant surprise. There'll be plenty of MCU fanboys out there who will put this near the bottom of their list because it doesn't come with the Disney sparkles and fancy happiness and I'm more than fine with that, each to their own. At least this isn't a rehash of the Lion King like Black Panther is or ending up with some poor sequels that Iron Man decided to get into. This storyline was very well constructed, answered some outstanding references from earlier Marvel movies and to some extent, gave closure to Natasha's story as a whole.

We know exactly what we get with Scarlett as Black Widow so there isn't too much extra to explain. We got some of the usual sassiness, we got serious and we got some great action scenes. For me, the stand out has to be the performance from Florence Pugh. Yelena was instantly represented as Natasha's sister. Her sassy personality but also a little more damaged. The humour was mostly carried from Yelena but because she was an Eastern European character, the seriousness that came with the jokes only made the scenes a lot more enjoyable. We then see the ultrahard exterior break and once again Pugh carries the role with the top draw quality that I had seen whilst watching 'Fighting with My Family'. I'm looking forward to seeing her reprise the role. Even is the accent was a little sketchy. Thankfully though, the accent wasn't anywhere near as bad as Ray Winstone's portrayal. Dreykov was an interesting fellow and Winstone knows how to play a tough guy but the accent was a little out of reach for him, especially when required to shout as his English accent was slipping back into play. Back to the good side though and the rest of the family played by Harbour and Weisz were very much needed. Their characters each had their own draws and definitely shared the limelight along with the sister. Some very good casting from all involved. 

I not only went back to the cinema to have a rewatch but once it came within the package of Disney+, it was on my screen at home. The Steelbook sits on the self with the rest of the MCU and I couldn't be happier. This will forever be a moment that I can happily admit I was wrong in wondering if this movie was going to be a waste of time. Was it needed for the MCU storyline, probably not, just the after-credits helped with that. This feels like a one-off, closure on a character that has been around from near enough day one and a final farewell that was deserved, rather than a splat at the bottom of a cliff. I've said it once and I'm happy to say it again but the fact that this didn't feel overwhelmingly like an MCU movie helped. I found myself singing Nirvana for a couple of days after thanks to the intro to this movie and I'll end up doing the same when I end to catching it again sometime... and now I'm humming it again!

Great. We're going to get killed by murder Barbie (Freaky 2021)

 289.

Freaky

7/10

The initial vibes that I received from the trailer for this movie screamed 'Happy Death Day'. So to find out that we are getting some more work from the same director, Christopher Landon, came as little surprise. 'Happy Death Day' is a comedy horror that now has a sequel, which I'm yet to watch but this movie looks like it could be a bit more fun within the horror genre. Vince Vaughn is on board who we know from any comedy ever starring alongside Owen Wilson but this time he's cast with some high school girls as we embark on a bit of a slasher but all accounts. The second familiar face comes in the form of Kathryn Newton, who I wouldn't have gotten the name without a quick look on IMDB but I've seen her star in Pokemon: Detective Pikachu, which wasn't half bad. Not too much was left to the imagination after the trailer. We already know that both of our main characters are going to be switching bodies and we have Vaughn as a killer, whose mind is switched into the mind of a girl. How they change back, who knows. Let's get Freaky. 

The movie starts as many horrors do. We have a group of teenagers, drinking whilst parents are out of town and discussing some urban legends. The main one that comes up is the Blissfield Butcher. As expected, the Butcher makes an appearance and slaughters the lot of them, stealing an Aztec knife on how way through, called La Dola. I can only imagine this scene was set up to show the brutality of the killer but also focused highly on this knife.

The next day we meet our other lead characters. Millie isn't exactly popular in school and as she attends a high school football game as the mascot, she is the last to stick around as she waits for a lift home by her mother. This won't be happening as mother has folded like the best of us and had a few too many. Out of the misty hedges comes the Butcher with his brand new knife, ready for another attack. He stabs Millie in the shoulder but a wound opens up on his own shoulder in doing so. Millie's older sister, who is also a cop, arrives to scare the Butcher away and collects the knife as evidence, radioing in for a manhunt in the process.

The next morning, the two leads find out that they have switched bodies. They both head into school for different reasons and the Butcher, now in Millie's body ends up killing Millie's bully by locking her in a cryo tank, whilst also slicing her woodshop teacher in half with the table saw. 

The killings, as strange as it sounds, simply adds to the sub-genre of comedy-horror. The Butcher realises he has some sort of immunity from suspicion whilst he is in this body. On the other hand, Millie is walking around in the Butcher's body trying to track down her friends and performing the school mascot's dance to prove who she really is. Nyla and Josh, the friends, help Millie to research the knife, revealing that Millie needs to stab The Butcher by midnight or the switch will be permanent. 

With the homecoming dance cancelled, The Butcher decides that they should hold another party in the Old Mill, which is also his hideout. Bare in mind now, that Millie who is the Butcher, was never popular anyway is now followed with her new confidence. In the meantime, The Butcher lures Millie's actual crush to a horror minigolf game to kill him but our trio of teenagers, in body and mind in the case of Millie, manage to save Booker, the crush and knock both him and the actual Butcher unconscious, taking them both back to Josh's house. They try to convince Booker about the mind swap but he isn't buying it until Millie recites a poem that she wrote to him weeks earlier. It's a little weird but funny watching Vince Vaughn deliver the lines but it'll get a little weirder before the end. Josh watches over The actual Butcher whilst the other three head to the police station to retrieve the knife before midnight. Of course, the last officer in the station would be Millie's sister, the story wouldn't happen any other way. Out in the car, Millie and Booker are talking and Booker reveals that he has always liked her. Millie divulges the fact of her newfound confidence and they both kiss. Told you it would get a little weirder. The sister is tricked to leave the station, only to return and catch Nyla stealing the knife. After trying to explain, we have another character how doesn't understand what is happening and in the meantime, the Butcher has escaped from Josh's. Millie sees him enter the police station and the sister is now in trouble. Millie enters the station but being in The Butcher's actual body, the sister doesn't ask questions and tries to detain the fully grown man. Millie overpowers her, looks her in a cell and follows the Butcher who has escaped in a police car. 

He's made it to the mill and kills three jocks who try to rape her as well as a fourth who tried to move in on Josh. Everyone now arrives, including the cops but the trio of friends hold down the Butcher in Millie's body and she stabs him just in time for the police to shoot him down. Millie and Booker finally unite in the right bodies and kiss. 

I was expecting the movie to finish but no, we are going to get another scene. The Butcher has killed the ambulance and police crew and follows Millie home. He attacks her, her sister and her mother whilst making fun of her weakness and anxiety. Millie has had a hell of a night though and has changed. She impales him with a broken table leg and now, the credits are ready to roll. 

Just as I felt after 'Happy Death Day', the movie was quite enjoyable. Growing up, the sub-genre of horror-comedy was mostly filled with parodies like the 'Scary Movie' franchise. After seeing the first couple, they got a little tiresome. There is now a little twist to the genre and some new ideas rather than ripping off famous scenes. Giving a glimpse of something like 'Freaky Friday' where a mother and daughter switched bodies, this movie was definitely an interesting concept. Success in the storyline and movie is only as good as its cast being able to nail the presentation. 

Moving on to the cast, Vince Vaughn's role in this movie cannot be understated in any way, he was the main reason that this worked so well. I've not managed to catch a movie where he is any sort of villainous role and this guy is a bit of a giant in stature so it's surprising there hasn't been a lot. The movie didn't have him too much in this role though, mostly at the beginning, hidden in the dark and then a few minutes towards the end. The biggest part and most surprising was how well he pulled off a  teenage girl's mannerisms. Between prancing about screaming every so often, he was quite convincing. This can then switch to Kathryn Newton in the role of Millie. Starting the movie as an outcast, once the confidence of a killer sets in, so did her role. The confidence in body language and dialogue means that Newton needs to deliver on two different characters and smashes both out of the park.

A bit of a laugh, a bit of horror and a movie that really isn't too bad to have a watch and chill out to. I can imagine it'll hit a streaming service a little further down the line and will be popular for a while but it isn't going to win any awards. In trying to nitpick the movie, yes some of the other cast member's acting was a little sketchy, yes there was a touch of predictability about the movie but that was always going to be the case in this sub-genre which should never be taken too seriously. The killings and over the top gore only added to this point but at the same time, once again, made it more enjoyable. A popcorn movie to enjoy whilst you leave your brain at the door. If you enjoyed other movies recently of the genre, give this one a go.

When God builds a church, the Devil builds a chapel nextdoor (The Unholy 2021)

 288.

The Unholy

5/10

Another horror movie to add to the list and not one that is attached to any sort of franchise. The trailer looked nothing short of interesting, as many horror trailers do. Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays our leading actor, fresh from the highly successful role in The Walking Dead. In this movie, he'll be playing a disgraced journalist and after faking news stories, needs to build his reputation again. The movie gives the directorial debut of Evan Spiliotopoulos. Evan is an interesting one as the only things he's worked on of note in his career so far are Disney sequels such as The Jungle Book 2 and also worked on the live-action Beauty and the Beast. Let's find out if he took his chance to make something great, or something truly unholy. 

The film begins in the 1800s' as a young girl is killed for witchcraft. Hanging from a tree, she is set alight after a mask is nailed to her face and her spirit is bound to a doll. There's always a doll. Many years later, Morgan's character is sent to Boston to report on a strange happening, which turns out to be nothing but a prank but he finds the doll and crushes it, releasing the spirit.

As he is set to leave, he is in a car accident after narrowly avoiding hitting a girl. He then follows said girl to the tree from the beginning and also the location where he crushed the doll. The girl utters a few words before collapsing. After taking the girl to the local church, we learn she is a dead-mute so the fact that she apparently spoke, can't be true. Gerry, played by Morgan, decides to stick around and find out the truth. 

The girl decides to wow the crowds as she claims she has been blessed by the Virgin Mary. The Catholic Church decides to send out their investigators for the case. There is now a media frenzy but the only person that the girl Alice will speak to is Gerry. 

He finds out that she has been talking to a presence called Mary and automatically thinks that she is holy. Things start to take a sinister turn as people start dying and Gerry has horrifying visions of Mary and her true nature. During his time there, he befriends the local physician to who he comes clean to about fabricating stories. Hoping this one will now bring his career back to the top, they both find information that the local vicar has discovered. It had cost him his life as Mary had killed him and shows who Mary actually is. The witch who was killed. She had sold her soul to Satan for eternal life and power. It turns out that the higher-ups in the church knew this and kept it a secret as it brought interest back to the church and with Gerry's reputation, no one would believe him anyway.

Alice is seemingly unaware of Mary's true nature wishes to hold a service live on TV by the tree and the Catholic investigator warns that this will become a Satanic ritual. Anyone who pledges themselves to her will be condemned to hell. Our trio tries to stop the event with a ritual in the church which Mary isn't a fan of. She ends up killing the Catholic investigator with a burning cross and now we are on to our endgame. 

Alice urges everyone to pledge themselves to Mary three times, reminding me of the famous Bloody Mary ritual in front of the mirror. Alice has been taken over by this presence so it takes the physician Natalie to communicate with her through sign language. Gerry has slowed the crowd down in the meantime. He's explaining that everything is just down to more hoaxes. Mary tries to sway Alice but now that Alice realises the true intent, she tells everyone that indeed the miracles weren't true. The tree suddenly bursts into flames as everyone tries to escape. Mary crawls out from behind as she heads for Gerry.

 Alice sacrifices herself to save Gerry and this act seems to have gone against what Mary is about. She disappears and it turns out that due to Alice being Mary's link to the world, she no longer has her vessel. Gerry is left in shock, begging God to bring Alice back to life. The wish is granted as Alice comes back but without her hearing or speech. Everyone that Alice and Mary cured relapse and in the aftermath of the movie, we zoom in on the statue of Mary within the church as it cries a tear of blood. 

This movie felt like a straight to DVD movie or maybe even a Friday night movie that you come across on TV. The movie had an interesting headway and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't great to be back in the cinema watching any kind of horror but this one won't be top of my list for a rewatch any time soon. The main possession-based storyline was not a shock to anyone because that was apparent from the beginning of the movie. It was all about watching how that played out. To see the side story of the church actually knowing the true events and their dark motives to profit from the event was the part that I didn't see coming. It added a little spice to an otherwise common horror movie. 

The cast for me was a few recognisable faces with one name that I could pick out from the trailer alone. Jeffery Dean Morgan is hot property since The Walking Dead and is my pick to play Thomas Wayne as Batman in any Flash Point movie, but it'll never happen. Playing a washed-up journalist and downright grump seems to be effortless for this guy as he is one of the redeeming parts of the movie. William Sadler, one of the inmates in Shawshank Redemption and Cary Elwes, one of the chained up gents in Saw were the only other faces that were recognisable to me. The rest of the cast was new but I can't have any complaints about them. The acting all around was at a decent level thankfully. Too many times have I come across a new cast in horror movies that we never hear from again and the talent was at a minimum. 

I had no idea that this was based on a classic novel, written by James Herbert, I really hope that the guy enjoyed seeing his work come on to the big screen. A lot of the time we know that things change too much and the author sometimes resents allow it to be done. A famous case of this would be Stephen King and his views on 'The Shining'. More redeeming features for me would be the CGI in the movie as some mediocre storytelling and following the horror blueprint was salvaged by clever scene work, special effects and even the overall look of the demon. Too many times do we only see some fingers rather than the whole horror of what the audience has been sitting in anticipation for. Through October, I have been watching horror movies, some new and some re-watches and if this movie pops up on a streaming app then maybe just maybe will I watch it again. Until that moment, it, unfortunately, won't be one that I go out of my way to purchase or view in the near future.

I think I hurt someone (The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It 2021)

287.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

6.5/10

My Favourite horror franchise of recent years is coming to a climax with a third instalment of The Conjuring series. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga reprise the roles that they were made for as the Warrens. This time, it seems that the story is a little different from the others. The first two movies investigated a possession in its moment of happening. The third movie will be about the married couple proving that a murder happened because the gent in question was possessed at the time. The Conjuring Universe, as they call it, has been very much hit and miss. Movies like The Nun and an Annabelle movie or two are very weak instalments and whenever the Warrens come back to the big screen, my confidence in the franchise comes back. Let's find out if this can get us back on track. James Wan is back as a producer so hopefully so.

Without going too deep and descriptive to the story, it is based on true events yet again. This time a young gent named Arne is on trial in Connecticut for murder. Taking place in 1981, Arne has killed his landlord and it's up to the Warrens to prove that he was taken over by an evil spirit. The movie actually begins with the Warrens exorcising a possessed child until Arne, who is dating the child's sister, begs the spirit to take him instead. 

The beginning started strong, every strong and the exorcising scene was creepy, intense and very much appreciated by myself. From here, we watch the downfall of Arne as the Warrens are then brought onto the case. Our main characters are getting on now, but this time, there is a different kind of villain. As we explore the case, we find out that the family involved were cursed by a female who has turned to the dark arts. It is down to the Warrens to track this girl down, who is being protected by an unlikely character, all before Arne is totally consumed by the spirit. The story obviously ends with the conviction of murder being overturned and manslaughter being the charge due to demonic possession. 

The story for me is a little disappointing. Whereas the other Conjuring movies build the tension throughout and end up with a climactic encounter with a possessed individual, this movie starts strong with an exorcism and then slows down through court cases, chases and not much horror at all. It actually hurts to write that as I had a lot of confidence that this would add to my admiration for the franchise. As the opening scene played out, I didn't doubt a thing but the storyline was at least interesting. That is always the case when it revolves around true events. I needed jump scares, I needed a lot more horror but this one was the weakest out of the trio, that's for sure.

Something you can never fault in the franchise though are Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. The roles that these two were made to play, Farmiga has her younger sister in the franchise now and Wilson stars in the Insidious franchise. Once again a strong showing from the two. Adding Ruairi O'Conner to the fold as Arne gave us a third main character this time around. Watching the events unfold, Arne turning into the demon and then finally claiming his innocence, it was a really well-played character from O'conner. 

As the Warren characters seemed quite aged in this movie, I'm not too sure whether we are going to be seeing another movie. I really hope we do as not only would I like redemption for this movie but they need one last hoorah. James Wan needs to get back on the case and take the helm to give us one last outing As also, it is worth checking into the true events that the movie is based on and I really wanted to find out where Arne is now. Apparently, he's nowhere to be seen but rumour has it he got a labouring job and he's living his life somewhere. I wonder what he thought about this movie.